Happiness is Personal

Happiness is Personal

Are you happy? What defines your happiness? What do you consider to constitute your happiness? What makes you happy?

Is it even necessary that you experience happiness? Is it necessary in life? What is happiness?

In this article of the Marketing Africa I would like to demystify happiness and give very personal opinions about this topic.

Numerous things make us happy it could be a promotion at the work place, gifts, vocations, parties and celebrations, money among others

According to the dictionary, happiness is characterized by feelings of joy, satisfaction, contentment and fulfillment.  Following this definition, I would ask , are we consistently satisfied, content and fulfilled? Are we always content with our career or position at work, always fulfilled with the amount of money we have? Is our satisfaction in direct co-relation to happiness? Again I ask, are we as individuals always satisfied, content and fulfilled?

In a world where we have a lot of negativity, wars, death, high cost of living, broken families among many more negativity, how then can we still achieve happiness?

As much as the factors mentioned above tend to give us happiness my question to the reader is are they permanent, always attainable or achievable?  Is it every day that we have a celebration like a wedding to define our happiness? No. Does anyone receive gifts all the time to warrant happiness? Again, No. How many times have you hoped to get a promotion, toiled and worked long hours, brought in new clients with hope of getting that promotion only for your hard work to be awarded with more work?  I bet countless times!

What of a salary increment? Yes, you got one 2 years ago before COVID hit and your happiness was unmatched! However, 2 years down the line, no increment is forthcoming yet work has tripled and the cost of living has sky- rocketed. I can continue creating these scenarios and I believe that we all relate. Does it then mean that we live miserable and unhappy lives because our current situations are not defined by feelings of joy and satisfaction? Once again I say No. Let us not fill permanent situations with temporary solutions. For me, all the factors that make us happy identified above are very mechanical, passing and temporary. They are like a wave in the sea, they come so strongly, big and visible but just like the wind, they pass on like they never existed! Yet these are the things we ‘claim ‘ to bring us happiness.

This is how I would treat happiness to try and make it permanent in whatever situation you are in;

First, know your priorities in life especially by identifying things that make you happy, those that sincerely bring you joy, things that are personal to you, not influenced by another person. What really makes you happy?  Let me give an example of myself, I recently re-defined my priorities to ( God-Myself( this was not here), Family- Friends.)

Anything that brings me closer to God or requires me to serve God is a priority- it not only brings me fulfillment but immense joy.

The soul reason why I brought myself a as a second priority, is because I had noticed I gave others time, resources and value more than I did for myself. I easily bought friends and family expensive gifts that I would feel a  ‘pinch’ or an ‘Ouch’ or second guessed myself if the tables were turned and I needed to gift myself. I felt that other people deserved and not me. Spending time growing and building other people’s capabilities while finding it difficult to invest in myself!  Sacrificing on opportunities that would lead me closer to achieve my goals and dreams thinking that someone else is better, denying myself the chance!

By prioritizing myself, what this means is that I will invest on both tangible and intangible things that make me happy because I enjoy doing them.  Investing in a transformation class, working out and paying gym subscriptions, Investing in books and find time to read them, spending time in nature, going to the movies, inspiring and building others, acts of service among others. These give me fulfillment and it is one thing to know them and another to prioritize and create time for them.

A wise man once said, you only know what is important to you by knowing where you spend your time the most. Where do you spend your time the most? Is it on family, self, friends, places, work? and secondly do they make you happy? If not, then you know what to do, it is about time to re-prioritize! Then Place value on them.

Something that you value and treasure you will always move things around to accommodate , find resources to make them better, pull resources to make sure that you give the very best, however expensive, unattainable or out of reach. Create value for things and people that make you happy! By the way,  if someone does not create time for you, just know where you stand in their lives… It is as personal as it can get. One man’s meat is indeed another man’s poison, and unless you want to keep poisoning yourself, keep eating meat that that doesn’t belong to you. But who wants this kind of life? Quite temporary, I must say.

One last tip that defines happiness as personal is for you to know and understand your season in life.  We all agree that there is a time for everything. Know your season so well that you will create priority and value for what is attainable within your reach. There’s never a perfect time or situation, we only know what is priority for us and make them work!

So there you go, my very personal take on happiness. It is as personal as it can get, not universal, and indeed one has to place value to it in order to bring feelings of satisfaction, contentment and fulfillment. Thank me later!

Susan Atieno

 She is a Communcation strategist with purpose for brands and people.

 You can find her at suezanatieno@gmail.com